LU: Year One

The shelves are growing bare as I pack my Rubbermaid tubs and suitcases full of picture frames and clothes and books.

All but one of my finals have been taken, my classes finished & assignments complete. Thank you’s have been given to my professors. Books returned to the bookstore.

I’ve already said goodbye to friends who left before me. My dad has already taken the majority of my stuff home.

I didn’t think I’d be sad about the semester ending, about the school year coming to a close.

But Liberty, you’ve surprised me this year.

This year…

I can’t even begin to put into words all that this year has been.

It’s been hard, no doubt. Really, really hard. I’ve missed home and my church and my friends and my family. I’ve struggled through assignments and gotten really bad grades. I’ve cried on the phone with my mom. I’ve been sick away from home- which is basically the worst…ever. I’ve struggled spiritually in ways I didn’t think I would, especially at Liberty. I’ve dealt with friendship drama. God has said no to so many things. Yes, it’s been difficult.

But, my gosh. It’s been so rewarding.

I’ve made more friends than I ever thought I would.

I’ve had professors who not only taught me with excellence, but cared about me and my life.

I’ve stayed up until 3am laughing with friends and talking about anything and everything.

I’ve spent Sunday nights with a leadership team of ten girls who are crazy for Jesus.

I’ve had the best spiritual and life mentors a girl could ask for in my RA’s and SLC’s.

I’ve cried happy tears when my dad surprised me by coming for lunch when I was having one of those hard days.

I’ve laughed…and laughed…and laughed some more with girls who have become like family to me.

I’ve spent time with my family, and it’s been extra sweet and meaningful now that I’m not with them all the time.

I’ve studied and made up for those bad grades, and more than that, I’ve learned SO much.

I’ve taken English classes where God has reminded me just how much I love literature and history and seeing how the two connect. Education classes that made me thrilled to teach and have my own classroom one day. Geography classes where we had fun learning about the world. Communications classes where God took a class that I was dreading and gave me so many great friendships and times of immense fun.

And yes, I’ve struggled spiritually.

But I’ve also grown by leaps and bounds in ways that I still don’t even fully comprehend.

I’ve learned to trust my Jesus through the up’s and down’s of daily life. To lean into Him when I really can’t make it one more breath without Him. To believe in who He is and know Him personally, not just know about Him. To let Him heal me, even when it hurts at first. To believe that He will keep His promises because He is faithful…even when I am faithless. To see and trust that He will bring me out of the desert and onto the mountaintop where I can see His grace in my every step…because I’ve seen and felt Him do it before.

Tears sit in my eyes tonight as I write this, because I simply cannot believe this year – my freshman year of college – is over. It went by in an instant, a beautiful, challenging, incredible, unforgettable instant.

So thank you…

To my professors for teaching me and guiding me in the Lord and in every subject you’ve taught.

To my people back home (my friends, my church, you know who you are) for supporting me and encouraging me and sending me endless letters (which made me smile so very often).

To my family: my mom and dad, brothers and sister, grandparents and aunts and uncles, for sending me texts (and pound cake!!) and calling and checking in on your favorite granddaughter ;) your love, visits, and support means more than you’ll ever know. Seriously.

To every single one of my friends at Liberty for being the best…ever. For making me laugh, for cheering me up when I’m sad, for being my family away from home. For being there. You’ve helped me fill this year with some of my very favorite memories…I can’t wait to make more.

To Liberty University for being so much more than I ever thought it would be. This time here (and over the next three years) has been and will be incredible. And I wouldn’t want to be any where else experiencing this chapter in my life.

And to my Jesus, for pulling me back to Him every time I stray even just a little bit and for keeping me in tune with Him every step of the way.

As I close out freshman year and head home for a summer with some of my favorite people, I am so so so thankful. And I cannot wait to see what sophomore year has in store.

If it’s anything like this year, then I know I’m in for a fantastic ride.

~Bailey

When God Says No (Part 2)

I won’t lie. This semester hasn’t been easy.

I knew it would be hard. Paige’s birthday was in February, less than three weeks after we started classes.

I went home a week after and sat with my mom and cried…sobbed. This grief still hits in unexpected places and times.

I knew I was taking 18 credit hours and I knew it would be an insane amount of work. And boy, I’ve never been more right about something in my whole life. There have been points where I felt like I was drowning in math and English and education.

But what I didn’t know was that those comparisons from last semester would come back up to the surface. That my relationship with Christ would be in a very dry season. That things weren’t going to go the way I had planned.

Because, really, when does life go like we want it to?

But, friends, let me tell you…that is a beautiful thing.

The fact that life doesn’t go like we want it to…that is beautiful.

Because that means that life always always always goes just like our Jesus wants it to.

Yes, that’s coming from the girl who has had a really hard semester.

It’s also coming from the girl who has had the support of amazing friends. Who has found reconciliation in relationships. Who has been blessed over and over again by the God she serves…the God who is always good.

My goal and desire for next school year was to be an RA. I knew there was a crazy small chance of this actually happening since Liberty is very strict and picky on who they put in charge of their residence halls (and I’m grateful for that!).

But still, when I got that rejection email there was something in me that wondered: am I just not good enough?

God started laying on my heart the position just under the RA’s which is called SLC…I wrote a post about my passion for SLC in this post not very long ago.

But what I didn’t know was that I was going to go through interviews and paperwork and more interviews only to get an email that read, “this note serves to inform you that you have not been selected to be an SLC for the 2016-2017 school year.”

My heart sank and I wondered why…why…why had God placed such a passion in my heart and determination in my mind only to get rejected again? Why wasn’t I good enough? What had I done wrong?

I was crushed. I didn’t realize how badly I wanted this position until it was out of my reach.

But, of course, God was working…just like he always is. He kept breathing his promises and his grace and love into my disappointment. He kept telling me this, “You know I still want you to be serving next year. Now, my Bailey, what’s that going to look like?”

Prayer group leader.

I hadn’t wanted to do it again next year. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED being a prayer group leader this year. But it wasn’t what I had dreamed of for next year until God kept whispering it into my head and into my heart.

And when my RA Caitlin mentioned that she’d be moving buildings (to one I was looking at anyway) and needed prayer group leaders…

Well, I knew that was my place for next year.

So on Wednesday when Caitlin walked in my room and officially offered me the prayer and life group leader position for her hall next year, I knew.

I knew that this was God’s plan A.

No matter what I had wanted or envisioned for next year…no matter if this felt like my plan B or C…this was God’s plan A, his plan all along for my life and my sophomore year at college.

God has said no to so many things this semester.

He’s said no to easy classes.

He’s said no to RA.

He’s said no to SLC.

He’s said no what I wanted for my life.

But on the flip side…

He’s said yes to having an amazing RA again next year, one that I’ve grown to love and become great friends with.

He’s said yes to learning and soaking up more knowledge and wisdom by the day.

He’s said yes to interview practice…and even learning to be rejected.

He’s said yes to beautiful friendships…to beautiful sunsets and conversations and people here at this school.

He’s said yes to prayer and life group leader for next year.

He’s said yes to giving me a fabulous roommate for next year.

He’s said yes to allowing me to go to Tanzania this summer with my family.

He’s said yes to always being there for me.

He’s said yes to always being good to me.

He’s said yes to doing what is best for me…

He’s said yes to doing his plan A. To making sure that His plan always plays out, that His desires for my life are fulfilled.

Maybe I’m crazy.

Maybe I’ve just really fallen in love with my Jesus.

Maybe I’m fully learning to trust Him.

But if I have to take a few no’s in order to have Him say yes to so many incredible things…then I am totally okay with that.

Because I know as a daughter of the King, when He says no to one thing, He is giving me an even better yes.

So this semester has been hard.

But I wouldn’t trade it for the world because my Jesus is saying “Yes!” in so many more ways than I could have ever imagined.

And whether you can see it or not, He’s doing that same thing for you, too.

Trust Him to give you the very best yes in every hard spot, in the midst of every no and every rejection.

Because that yes from your Father will be so sweet and beautiful…and you’ll know it’s exactly where He wants you to be. And that is the best place to be.

~Bailey

Miracle Monday: Week 3

I went into this week knowing it was going to be INSANE. I had the ACT Saturday morning, the Christmas musical at church all weekend, babysitting on Thursday and Tuesday…

You get the point.

Well, God certainly has a good sense of humor. Friday morning I woke up and felt HORRIBLE. Like stomach bug horrible. Let’s just say Friday wasn’t a pleasant day for anyone in the Bowers household. THANKFULLY we all caught it in 24 hours and it was gone by Saturday mid-day.

The ACT did not happen. We were only able to take part in one(some of us two) nights of the Christmas program. But here we are. And we made it. And please, Lord, don’t let that ever happen again.

Whew! Now, let’s talk about some miracles shall we?

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Moses.

The baby in the basket. We’ve all heard about him. We all know that his mother made a basket and sent him downstream to hopefully save him from the murdering Pharaoh. We’ve heard about how his sister waited in the bushes to see what would happen.

But I think the miracle here is in his very mother…the one who sent her son up a river in a basket. Her month old son…just floating away from her grasp. I can’t imagine the pain!

Her trust in the Lord alone is a miracle.

She sent him down this enormous rive only to be found by who? Pharaoh’s daughter.

Talk about God’s hand being in a situation! The same Pharaoh who was killing all of the Jewish baby boys…his daughter had come down to bathe and Moses just happened to be right there.

You probably remember what happens next?

But since we’re talking about miracles…let’s list a few in this story.

1. Moses grew up in the household of Pharaoh, more than likely treated like one of his sons.
When Moses killed an Egyptian, he ran off into the wilderness…and there he met HIS WIFE! Ha. Crazy beautiful.
2. One day he was leading his sheep when he came upon a bush. Not just a bush…a burning bush. But…wait…hold on…it’s not really burning. I mean, yeah, it was on fire but it wasn't being burned away. The fire wasn’t turning it into shreds…this went against all science. I love it.
4. From that burning bush he received a message from the Lord that he was to go into Pharaoh’s court and tell him to let God’s people go. And what is God’s name to these people? I AM. I Am your God.
5. God’s people are passed over when the death angel comes to kill the firstborn of every Egyptian during the plagues.

Many plagues later and Moses and God’s people were making their way out of Egypt. The Pharaoh had said, “I’ve had enough of you people and your God- GET OUT!”

So gladly they left.

Then something happens. Pharaoh woke up.

He realized that with the Jewish people, he had lost every one of his slaves. How will he get his work done? He won’t.

Quickly Pharaoh changed his mind and they went after Moses and God’s people.

Just about this time our Jewish friends had reached the Red Sea and they needed to get across. And FAST. Because Pharaoh’s army was quickly approaching from behind.

How in the world would they get across?

{Follow me on this one…if you’ve ever read the children’s book I’m Going on a Bear Hunt, you know this phrase. We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it- we’ve got to go through it!}

This is what they’d have to do. They couldn't go over or under a huge sea. Somehow they'd have to go through it. But complaints and cries for help began to arise from these people, telling Moses, “How are we going to get our animals across with the Egyptians right at our heels? Did God just bring us out here to die?”

Can you imagine the thoughts going through Moses’ head? Seriously. Did you see all that God did to get you out of slavery? That’s not even the beginning of what He is going to do for you!

So Moses hit his staff on the ground…

And the water split.

Where there should have been water there was dry ground…just enough for God’s people to walk through. Were there were doubting hearts and minds…now stood wide eyed, open jawed and amazed people. Because they were God’s people.

We travel forward quite some time…to another story with fire.

This one is in the book of Daniel. It’s way past Exodus and while there are many more miracles in the pages between Exodus and Daniel we’re running out of Mondays before Christmas.

So in your mind turn with me and imagine three men. Their names are Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. (The spell check on my computer is hating me for those names right now.)

These three men are noted as, “servants of the Most High God.”

They served the Lord and refused to bow down to the golden statue of their earthly ruler.

King Nebuchadnezzar didn’t like this very much and decided to throw them into the fiery furnace. These three servants of the Lord were bound together and thrown into the fire.

But here’s one of my favorite parts of this story, it’s what they say before they’re thrown into the fire.  “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

They said, “Our God is able!”

They also said, “But if not…”

But if He chooses not to deliver us, we will still serve Him. We will still trust Him because we are his people and He is our God.

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were bound and thrown in the fire. Just the three of them. A fire that hot would kill them, it would, at the very least, severely burn them.

Nebuchadnezzar looked in the fire and saw not three but FOUR men standing in the furnace. And none of them were burning.

And the fourth man, where did he come from? “The appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.” He looked like an angel.

He had come to protect Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

Remember how Abraham was willing to sacrifice his one and only son because He feared and loved and trusted the Lord?

Just as God delivered Isaac, He delivered Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Because He is their God, and they were His people.

- - - - - -

"All the little things that happened- they just happened to be little miracles. All that's happening around you every day is happening to make miracles. Eery little thing is going to be okay, because God is working good through every little thing. There is never a night, never a darkness when gifts and miracles and joy aren't coming- coming right to you." -Ann Voskamp's Unwrapping the Greatest Gift

Matthew 2:1-6, "Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying, 'Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.' When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. They told him, 'In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet:

'"And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
    are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler

    who will shepherd my people Israel."'"

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I'm adding an extra little section here to tell you all about some serious miracles that have happened in my life this week.

Miracle 1:

When we were traveling to Rwanda to get Sonia back in 2009, we met another family who would be with us for those 16 days. They were the Spores and they were the kind of people you felt like you've known forever.

Well, the Spores adopted Cooper from Rwanda. Hannah and Caleb were adopted from Uganda and they are now in the process of adopting a young man with special needs from Uganda. I LOVE the heart of this family that so strongly beats for God's love and His heart for orphans. After they bring "S" home, they will have four biological children and four from Africa. THAT is beautiful.

Anyway. Chad and Heidi (mom and dad) are in Uganda right now waiting for their court date. They were told upon arriving that their judge had left country and couldn't hear their case until FEBRUARY. Seriously?

Well. We got to praying. And Saturday we found out that by God's miraculous hand, their case would be heard this coming week and they would return home in time for Christmas! Praise God!

Now, they'll still have to go back after the new year to finish everything up and bring home "S" but let's join together and continue to pray for the safe arrival of "S" back in the United States with his amazing family.

Miracle 2:

One of the young ladies in our youth group has faced something many of us won't face. Her father was diagnosed with lung cancer about three or four months ago. He went in for a check up this past Wednesday. He had been undergoing weeks and weeks of chemo and radiation and was scheduled to start another six day round this coming week.

BUT GOD! Oh this gives me chills.

His doctor came in and said, "Well, we won't be needing to do that chemo. Your cancer is gone."

YOUR STAGE THREE CANCER IS GONE!

Only God. Only our God of miracles.

We stood in my dad's office after church Wednesday with another family from church and we prayed aloud, thanking the Lord for this absolute miracle He had done in this man's life. He is the Healer and the Great Physician. How could we ever forget that?

- - - - - -

God didn’t let that bush burn. He had something He needed to tell Moses. God didn’t let those three men die in the fire. He had something else He needed to do through them.

He has something He needs to do through you, too. He needs to say something to you, too. And you can be sure He’ll work His miracles and He’ll bring you out of the fire to do incredible things in your life. Because you are one of God’s people.

~Bailey

A World with Octobers.

I drove down the road yesterday coming home from a babysitting job, old Taylor Swift blasting through my speakers, the windows down and the breeze in my hair.

The leaves are changing colors. Bright reds and oranges. Soon they'll fall and create mounds of crinkly leaves on the ground.

There's something about this change of seasons that I've grown to love.

I used to absolutely love summer. I loved the warm weather, shorts and flip flops, the beach and the fact that we had over two full months without school. I still do.

But there's something about fall and spring that have become my favorite.

Because when I watch the leaves grow in the spring, bright green with blossoms and blooms, my heart is full and the Lord says, "That's what I've done in you. I've given you new life."

And in the fall when the leaves turn colors and begin to fall he says, "Look, it's your past. All of those things you regret...they can be forgotten. You are forgiven. Wait a little bit longer, you'll start to feel that new life again."

I sit here typing these words and I can only think...

Without Octobers we would miss the colors of the leaves. We would miss bonfires and s'mores and the smell that the smoke from the fire leaves on our clothes. 

We would miss pumpkins and cool fall days just before the weather turns cold. We would miss days spent in our favorite cozy sweatshirt with a good book. 

We would miss so many things. 

So today there's not a whole lot on my mind. But I'm making sure I take the time to thank God for this October. Because there won't be another one just like it. 

He is daily reminding me that those broken pieces of my past are still healing. That all of my sin has been washed clean. 

He reminds me that His love for me is unconditional, unfathomable. 

And every time I see those bright red and orange leaves He says, "I created this. I created the billions of stars. I created the vast fields and the birds and animals. And I said, 'It is good.' But then I created you! And you were very good. I will hold you and take care of you. Your future is in my hand, daughter. You are precious to me. Just like the colors of those leaves, you are unlike any other."

I breathe deeply and let the cool air fill my lungs, grateful for this day He's given me. Grateful that I am made in His imagine and for His plan. 

And I'm especially grateful He's given us Octobers.

~Bailey