Holding All Things

Graduating high school brings in a slew of emotions. Ask my friends, I'm not an emotional person but ever since the beginning of this semester I've been emotional on a whole new level.

Last Sunday I sat in Sunday School in the youth area for the last time. My youth pastor was praying afterwards and his first words were this, "Lord, thank You for these six years we've had together."

And I just about lost it.

Wednesday night I realized I only had two Wednesday nights left as a student in the youth ministry. But while Matt was preaching a verse that I had read a million times popped out at me...it was this:

Colossians 1:17, "And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."

When I'm emotional because my whole life is changing...that verse went straight to the deepest parts of my heart.

This was my train of thought driving home from church:

At the beginning of the year when my financial information wasn't coming through at Liberty and I felt as if maybe college just wasn't going to happen, maybe God had a different plan...

He was holding all things together.

When I was applying for scholarships and crying over essay topics I just didn't understand...

He was holding all things together.

In February when I went to visit Liberty and nothing was set in stone but I knew this was the place I wanted to spend the next four years of my life...

He was holding all things together.

Just weeks ago I spoke at a church about writing my book and my trip to Uganda. But my nerves were eating me alive and I was terrified...

He was holding all things together.

When life is overwhelming and frustrating...when I wanted someone to really talk to, someone who would listen and have the wisdom I needed, but my adopted big brother was in Brazil, my adopted big sister was in California...and the other sister passed away almost three years ago and I missed them so much that it hurt...

He was holding all things together even when it didn't seem like it.

How do I know? How can I be so sure?

Because when I needed that person to talk to, I got a text from Trent (that big brother in Brazil). I got the kind of text that really just said, "Hey, how's your life?" And I knew he wouldn't care if I poured my guts out. We texted back and forth and the tears rose over and over again.

When I went to speak at that church, the Lord gave me such peace and spoke through me as only He could.

Because when my financial information came through it was better than we could have ever imagined. The Lord provided and did it in His time...not mine. All of this is a whole post in itself.

In all of these things He proved to me exactly what that verse says, "in Him all things hold together."

Without Him, I would literally fall apart! My life would crash and burn...but no, in His great love, grace, and mercy, He chooses to hold my life together day in and day out, making sure everything happens exactly when it needs to.

I know, you probably hear that all the time and it probably sounds cliche. Because less than two months ago it sounded cliche to me, too.

But today I can assure you that my God is the One who is making sure the sun will set tonight, the stars (that He knows by name) will be in the right spots, the earth keeps spinning...is also the God who is executing every detail of your life, and mine, too.

So whatever you're waiting for, whatever you think just isn't going to happen, whatever you've lost hope for and are even doubting God about...know He's holding it all together.

Know He's got you and me and all of us in His hands and is very literally holding all things together.

I know at least for me, that is the greatest hope.

~Bailey

The Next Chapter

I wrote this post late last night...reflections on, well, I guess all of my life thus far.

- - - - -

Right now it is 11:35 and I should have been asleep an hour ago.

But just hours ago I got home from having my senior pictures taken. While I’ve already washed my face, my hair is still curled.  For a girl with stick straight hair, curls are too much fun.

My mind is spinning and I’m thinking a thousand things.


A glimpse into my thoughts?

Tonight I wore a dress that I felt beautiful in.  It’s one of the ones you can spin around in and feel five years old again.

As the photographer took my pictures tonight we were in the middle of the woods, bright green spring time colors all around us.  And it looked like a fairy tale…something straight out of a picture book I would have read as a little girl.

When I put on my second change of clothes, I had mom tie a bracelet on to my wrist and I forced my eyes to stay dry. It’s colors are faded and the ends are frayed from months of wear and tear. But Paige made it for me. And while I haven’t worn it in a while…tonight I needed to wear it. For her. And, well, for me, too. Because all of me wanted her to be a part of this: my senior year.

I posed for a picture with my most favorite journal in hand and my hot pink fountain pen: a gift from Trent and Sydney when I published my book. I can remember Sydney handing it to me the first time…signing book after book with it at my party. They’re in Brazil, but again…they should be a part, too.

And Amanda and Nick. Dad just finished visiting with them and so we send pictures to them all, wishing that California wasn’t so far away.


I can’t help but remember this last decade of schooling…the journey has been a story in itself.

It seems impossible that it was nearly 13 years since I was walking into my Kindergarten classroom for the first time, meeting Mrs. Riddle and still getting help to tie my shoes.

And somehow since then I went to camp for the first time. I got glasses. I helped with Summer with the Arts for the first time. I drove a car for the first time. I really wrote for the first time. I went to the movies- just me and the girls- for the first time.

There are sweet memories like my first day at Classical meeting Anna Gray and Brianna…competing in Bible Drill at church…countless summer days at the pool…reading Little Women for the first time and really falling in love with reading.

Then there are the not so great memories, too, like that haircut I got in sixth grade…getting over three dozen stitches (no more flash light tag for this girl!)…the very first disagreements with friends.

But as I look back at all of those firsts, I realize that many of the memories I’m making now are quite often…lasts.

This Sunday I’ll close out my last semester being a weekly teacher in children’s choir.

In a few short weeks I’ll have my last day of high school.

In August, I’ll have my last day of babysitting for my favorite families before heading off to school.


I’ve come to realize so very quickly that these are the last weeks of high school…these are my last weeks of youth ministry and all that comes with it…these are the last days before college.

While it seems bittersweet to look back on the lasts, I can only see it as the closing of one chapter…and the opening of a new one.

The day I walk on Liberty’s campus I will not only hold with me these memories and bring along the characters in my story, but I will turn the page a begin a new adventure: one that will be packed full of firsts, packed with sweet and not so sweet memories…and, one day, lasts as well.


So now it’s 11:55 and I’m totally going to get busted for staying up so late.

But, hey, these are my last weeks of high school, right? Might as well live them well and full.


Here’s to the best last 13 years a girl could ask for: to the best teachers, friends, parents…and everyone else…thanks for giving me a wonderful, magical, incredible 13 years.

And, most importantly, to my Jesus: the author of every first, every memory…and yes, every last in all of my 17 years. Thankfully He’s the author of this next chapter, too.

So it’s with a deep breath and a whole lot of His grace that I’m preparing to turn the page. Here’s to the next chapter.

~Bailey

*Photo credit to Rodney Slate//Autumn Song Photography*

Top 12 of 2014

Wow. It's always so crazy how every year seems to go by so much faster than the one before. It absolutely blows my mind that it's January 1st of 2015. 

This year I graduate high school. This year I'll go to college. This year we're going to Disney World (in 3 days, but who's counting?). This year I go to Passion. 

But as I got ready for bed last night, all I could think about was how incredibly thankful I am for all that 2014 held. 

Yes, it was hard. Believe me, mono was NOT fun. 

But my Jesus held me and He took care of me and showed me that I always, always, always need Him and His never ending, unstoppable, always reaching out for me love. 

Last year I did a top ten of 2013 post and I figured I'd do it again. Except this year I couldn't narrow it down to just ten. 

So here's the top 12 of 2014. {Warning: picture overload.}

12. Braces came off!

11. Trent and Sydney

Throughout 2014 my entire family grew so close to Trent and Syd and it was amazing. Now they're in Brazil and I miss them like crazy. 

10. Praise band has been such a gift this year. We've had multiple youth Sundays and they are my favorite. I love leading alongside these talented musicians. 

 This was at our night of worship in December. It was magical.

9. 17th birthday and Summer With the Arts. 

Shortly after being diagnosed with mono we had our yearly music and arts camp. It was also the week of my birthday. I spent about half of the week sleeping, BUT God continued to heal me and I had a great birthday celebration. 

8. Hilton Head!

We try to take a yearly trip as a family to Hilton Head. We got to go for almost two weeks this year. GLORIOUS.

7. Student Life at Myrtle Beach.

What a week. Got to room with three of my best friends, got to worship with the majority of my youth group. God was there. (And I had mono but I didn't know it yet. That was fun. NOT.)

6. CHRISTMAS! 

Ah. This Christmas was like a breath of beautiful, fresh air. I don't think I've ever been so Christ focused around Christmas and it was probably my favorite Christmas yet. 

And a trip to Disney was included so that was amazing. 

 We had a little craft day with some of the girls from church!

At the Christmas Eve service.

5. Kari Jobe in Atlanta. 

I don't even have words. It was one of my all time favorite weekends. So thankful. 

 

Selfies for days. 

4. Amanda and Nick

Back in October my favorite big sister and brother-in-law came in town from CA and spent a couple of days with us. We made some amazing memories and I got to spend so much time with both of my nieces. 

They're the cutest. But I'm only a little biased.

3. Kids at Church. 

This year the Lord has given me so many opportunities to pour into the lives of the children at church and I have never been happier to do anything (except maybe to write).

2. I got so much closer to my friends this year. They're the ones that I know I will share the rest of my life with. We've rejoiced together and been sad together. I'm so incredibly thankful to have such an amazing group of godly women to share life with.

1. And then I wrote a book. 

And it got published. 

And aside from my relationship with Jesus Christ, and my family and friends, I've never been more thankful for anything in my entire life.

He has redeemed me and given me this gift.

It has been the most rewarding journey.

 Book signing a couple of weeks ago.

Newspaper article!

My book wall.

Thank you to each of you who have been such a big part of my life in the last year.

You've encouraged me in this journey of publishing a book and writing another. I can't tell you enough how thankful I am for you and your support, prayers, and love.

But most of all, at the end of every day, I'm so thankful for my Jesus. I'm so grateful that He's given me today and that He made 2014 such a beautiful year.

He is faithful. He keeps His promises.

And I cannot wait to see what He has planned for 2015.

~Bailey