Faithful God

“When we look back and see trials, God sees testimony. When we look back and see suffering, He sees blessing.” -David Nasser

Faithful: loyal, constant, and steadfast

- - - - - -

When I came to visit Liberty back in January, Kari Jobe sang “Great I Am.”  For those of you that are new around here, one of my best friends, Paige, passed away in 2012 and this was her favorite worship song.  Since then it has become my anthem, one that is still emotional and heart wrenching, but so very powerful.

Back to January.  I wrote about this experience in convocation (chapel) in this post, explaining how the Lord was further convincing me that Liberty was where I needed to be.

- - - - - -

Last Wednesday night, I was sitting in campus church and they began to sing “Never Once.”

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Tears filled my eyes as I remembered the Sunday after Paige passed away when I sat in church sobbing while they played this song, wondering how in the world my “faithful” God let her die, how He took her from me.

Again on Sunday morning in church, they played the same song and again I pictured little 15 year old Bailey sitting in church crying, questioning God, angry at Him.

But as the tears started to fall down my cheeks, I was only able to reflect on the last three years and all that God has done to bring me where I am today.

Today I am no longer bitter or angry with God. No, I am completely the opposite. I am thankful to Him for refining me and bringing me through the fire.

Today I no longer question Him and His plan for my life because I know He has my best interest in mind, no matter how hard it may seem in the moment.

Today when a trial comes my way, I hold fast to my Jesus. I hold fast to Him and the promises He’s made to me.


When I shared my testimony with some of my friends here at school, I found myself in tears over God’s faithfulness in my life over these past three years.

This week He has constantly been saying to me, “I am faithful. I am faithful. I am faithful.”

He hasn’t put me down so far…and I know that He will forever have me in His hands. Words can’t express all of the ways He has been showing me His faithfulness…from beautiful sunsets, heartfelt conversations with friends, new friendships that are beautifully brought together by Christ…

Tonight we stood again in campus church and they began to play “Great I Am.”  Tears immediately fell down my cheeks and all I could do was worship.

Because He knows.

He knew that tonight I’d be sharing my testimony with my prayer and life group. He knew that it’s been a long week. He knew that I needed a reminder that it’s okay to miss Paige, especially in this stage of life.

He knows that I need to be constantly reminded of the fact that I desperately need Him every moment, every hour, every minute of every day.  He knows that in a world that fails me, I need someone who is faithful no matter what.  He knows just how much I need Him, His love, His peace…

He knows how much I need my Father, the Great I Am, the One who is greater than any wave of affliction that comes my way, the One who calms every storm and brings us through the fire stronger than ever.

So tonight, in the early, early hours of September 24th, 2015…another 24th is going by and I miss my Paige just as much as I did the day she died.

But it’s another 24th where I’m saying to my Father, Thank You for Your faithfulness to me. Thank You for refining me and bringing me through the fire…and being faithful in every step of this story You’re writing for me. 

Jesus, I am in love with You.


Praise God that when we see trials, He sees testimony, when we see suffering, He sees the most challenging, beautiful, redeeming, grace-filled blessing.

Praise God that He is faithful…always.

Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

~Bailey

How to Survive Your Senior Year

Here I am, getting ready to leave for college in less than a week and I find myself reflecting on the last year.

It has been crazy and full of so so so many decisions.

It's been, at time, stressful.

But then others have been simply beautiful, memories that I will remember forever.

Reminiscing on this past year, however, is not the purpose of this post.

This post is for you, yes you, the rising senior (and even junior!) in high school. For as I thought back on my senior year, there were so many things that I wanted to share with you. So after much thought and consideration on just what I would share...it came down to this: a list of five things to keep in mind as you close out your high school chapter.

1. I suppose we'll start on a non-serious note and I'll say this: have fun. Enjoy yourself! Let these last one/two years of your high school career be the best yet. No matter what's going on, make sure you take time aside from studying, applying to colleges, visiting colleges, and stressing about life in general to spend time with friends, be goofy, watch sad movies, laugh until you cry, eat WAY to much candy, and be a kid because soon people will expect you to be very much like an adult.

2. And that brings us to #2. All of your 18 years people expect you to listen to your parents/teachers, let them make your decisions for you and, well, quite honestly, they still (for the most part) treat you like a child.

But something interesting happens about half way through your junior year in high school. Everyone, and I mean, everyone, is going to ask you this: "So what are you doing with the rest of your life? Where are you going to college? What are you majoring in?"

All of the sudden you're being treated like an adult, expected to have all of the answers and know exactly what's going on. These questions won't end...they still haven't for me! Some days you'll get tired of the endless questions, but know this: these people only want the best for you. Let them ask questions, care deeply, and ask how they can pray for you. Because when you leave for college, knowing you have a crowd of prayer warriors will mean the world. So answer the endless questions, let people treat you like an adult even though it may seem hard to act like one.

3. But also know this: it's going to look like everyone else your age knows exactly what they want to do and exactly how they're going to do it. My friend, that is not the case!

From your perspective, it'll seem that everyone else has everything together, but in reality, they're just as wigged out as you are.

It may not seem like it, but while you're scrambling to submit college applications and trying to squeeze in as many credits as possible, and about to lose your mind...everybody else is feeling/thinking/doing the exact same things. 

So friend, you are not alone! Don't let this overwhelm you. Talk about it with your friends and rant together about senior year struggles. We weren't made to do this alone.

4. Treasure every single moment with your family, friends...again, we weren't made to do life by ourselves. Time with those we love should be well treasured, because trust me, when it comes time to leave...or get a job...or do whatever God calls you to do...you'll have wished you would have spent less time on Instagram and Facebook and more with the people you deeply care about.

Friendships are priceless. Family is gold. Time goes by so much faster than we ever think it would. But these relationships are the things you'll remember- and hopefully have- forever. So make them beautiful, memorable, and super fun memories. {I wrote a whole post on this here.}

5. Give it to Jesus.

My friend, turning to people for help is awesome. I highly recommend it. But above that- turn to Jesus. I cannot emphasize that enough.

Turn. To. Jesus. 

Let Him have every single detail of your fragile life. He will make it into the most stunning mosaic you've ever seen. Trust me.

I took the long route. I tried to do this whole college, tuition, huge life changes thing by myself. I tried for SO long before I realized: well this isn't working. To say I failed miserably would be an understatement.

No matter how crazy it may sound, this failing was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because when I turned to give it to Him, He was waiting with open arms, waiting for me to trust Him and let Him take hold of every detail of my life and work it out better than I could have ever imagined. (See Ephesians 3:20-21)

If you take anything from this post, take this: Give it to Jesus. What is IT? Everything. Admissions. Tuition. Nerves. Stress. All of it. He wants to show you just how good He is at creating marvelous stories.


So, as you enter into your final year(s) of high school, I hope this put some peace into your soul. I hope it reminded you to treasure the little things, to have fun, but most importantly: to trust Jesus with your everything. He wants to give you the best possible future.

And as I head to college next week, I'm so excited to be entering this future He has had prepared for me for such a long time.

~Bailey

If you've been looking for updates on With All of Your Heart, here it is! Book #2 is officially published and available on amazon.com. I'm so excited for all of you to read this new story.

Thanks for supporting me in this journey!

The Next Chapter

I wrote this post late last night...reflections on, well, I guess all of my life thus far.

- - - - -

Right now it is 11:35 and I should have been asleep an hour ago.

But just hours ago I got home from having my senior pictures taken. While I’ve already washed my face, my hair is still curled.  For a girl with stick straight hair, curls are too much fun.

My mind is spinning and I’m thinking a thousand things.


A glimpse into my thoughts?

Tonight I wore a dress that I felt beautiful in.  It’s one of the ones you can spin around in and feel five years old again.

As the photographer took my pictures tonight we were in the middle of the woods, bright green spring time colors all around us.  And it looked like a fairy tale…something straight out of a picture book I would have read as a little girl.

When I put on my second change of clothes, I had mom tie a bracelet on to my wrist and I forced my eyes to stay dry. It’s colors are faded and the ends are frayed from months of wear and tear. But Paige made it for me. And while I haven’t worn it in a while…tonight I needed to wear it. For her. And, well, for me, too. Because all of me wanted her to be a part of this: my senior year.

I posed for a picture with my most favorite journal in hand and my hot pink fountain pen: a gift from Trent and Sydney when I published my book. I can remember Sydney handing it to me the first time…signing book after book with it at my party. They’re in Brazil, but again…they should be a part, too.

And Amanda and Nick. Dad just finished visiting with them and so we send pictures to them all, wishing that California wasn’t so far away.


I can’t help but remember this last decade of schooling…the journey has been a story in itself.

It seems impossible that it was nearly 13 years since I was walking into my Kindergarten classroom for the first time, meeting Mrs. Riddle and still getting help to tie my shoes.

And somehow since then I went to camp for the first time. I got glasses. I helped with Summer with the Arts for the first time. I drove a car for the first time. I really wrote for the first time. I went to the movies- just me and the girls- for the first time.

There are sweet memories like my first day at Classical meeting Anna Gray and Brianna…competing in Bible Drill at church…countless summer days at the pool…reading Little Women for the first time and really falling in love with reading.

Then there are the not so great memories, too, like that haircut I got in sixth grade…getting over three dozen stitches (no more flash light tag for this girl!)…the very first disagreements with friends.

But as I look back at all of those firsts, I realize that many of the memories I’m making now are quite often…lasts.

This Sunday I’ll close out my last semester being a weekly teacher in children’s choir.

In a few short weeks I’ll have my last day of high school.

In August, I’ll have my last day of babysitting for my favorite families before heading off to school.


I’ve come to realize so very quickly that these are the last weeks of high school…these are my last weeks of youth ministry and all that comes with it…these are the last days before college.

While it seems bittersweet to look back on the lasts, I can only see it as the closing of one chapter…and the opening of a new one.

The day I walk on Liberty’s campus I will not only hold with me these memories and bring along the characters in my story, but I will turn the page a begin a new adventure: one that will be packed full of firsts, packed with sweet and not so sweet memories…and, one day, lasts as well.


So now it’s 11:55 and I’m totally going to get busted for staying up so late.

But, hey, these are my last weeks of high school, right? Might as well live them well and full.


Here’s to the best last 13 years a girl could ask for: to the best teachers, friends, parents…and everyone else…thanks for giving me a wonderful, magical, incredible 13 years.

And, most importantly, to my Jesus: the author of every first, every memory…and yes, every last in all of my 17 years. Thankfully He’s the author of this next chapter, too.

So it’s with a deep breath and a whole lot of His grace that I’m preparing to turn the page. Here’s to the next chapter.

~Bailey

*Photo credit to Rodney Slate//Autumn Song Photography*

There is Liberty

I don’t even know how to begin to tell this story.

Only God.

I guess a good starting point would be this blog post, the one where I talked about what I didn’t know what was coming next in my future.

Around this time I had started looking at three different colleges. I had been to two of them and didn’t feel at home, I didn’t love either of them. Many of my friends who are in college had said, “You’ll know it. You’ll walk on campus and you’ll know it’s where you’re supposed to be.”

I hadn’t felt that at either of these two schools (nothing against either one- they are awesome schools!). So the next week my parents, my friend Caroline, and I traveled up to Lynchburg Virginia to visit Liberty University.

*Let me give a bit of background here: from various things I was basically set I was not going to be attending Liberty University. I just had it in my mind that I was not going to Liberty.*

So. We go on a Thursday night to see The Little Mermaid at their theater. Holy cow, was it amazing. The next day we take a tour to see the campus and to experience convocation (chapel). It was all so very impressive and so beautiful. Every person and every atmosphere shouted Jesus.

Various times throughout the tour I could just picture myself there, growing in my relationship with the Lord there. And I thought, Maybe this is that feeling they were all talking about. 

Fast forward a couple of weeks.

I really wasn’t thinking about the college thing all that much but I had been praying, “Lord, give me clarity, give me undeniable peace.”

I had pretty much already eliminated the other two schools but I wanted to know that Liberty was where I was supposed to be…wanted to know without a shadow of a doubt.

Right after Christmas I had sat down with my mom and dad and just said, “I’m pretty sure Liberty is a yes.” I had begun to sense this peace and contentment about the whole decision.

Little did I know what God had planned.

Soon after, I’m scrolling through Facebook and I see that Liberty has posted something about Karen Kingsbury. I clicked on the link to see that she had just partnered with Liberty to be a visiting professor, would be offering exclusive curriculum to Liberty, and would be offering a significant scholarship to four students.

I turned to my mom, “I could be taught about writing by Karen Kingsbury!!”

Alright, Lord. I’ve got it. Liberty it is.

Friday, January 30th, my dad and I made the two hour drive to Liberty for convocation because Kari Jobe (my favorite female vocalist) and Beth Moore would be there! Obviously we needed to go.

So just my dad and I went. We left bright and early and got there twenty minutes early just in time to see Kari Jobe finishing her sound check. (Yes, it was awesome.)

We met up with my cousins who are there and the service started.

She sang Revelation Song, one of my all time favorites.

But then they started playing the chords to the second song.

Wait, I know this. I thought. Great I Am. 

My heart filled.

For those of you that don’t know, Great I Am was Paige’s favorite worship song. For the first year after she passed away, I couldn’t sing it without breaking down into tears. But the Lord has brought me SO far since then and now it is my own worship anthem to Him.

I stood and worshipped and it was if the Lord leaned down and said, “My Daughter, if she were here, she would love this school and how they proclaim Jesus and she would support you coming here, too.”

As if that wasn’t enough, there was peace. There was clarity. More importantly, there was Jesus. Lifted higher than anything else. Great I Am.

It was all the confirmation I could have ever needed. Tears fill my eyes just typing this.

Only. God.

Only God!

As I was reading my Bible last night before bed, I came across this note I had written on a post-it note and stuck in the book of Esther. It read, “As painful as the process might be, that which shatters us will also shatter our fragility and free us to walk with dignity and might to our destinies. We aren’t the fragile flowers we’ve considered ourselves to be. We are the warrior princesses of God.* Let His name be higher than all He has overcome!”

And the date noted at the bottom? January 30th, 2013.

What was Friday’s date? January 30th, 2015.

I don’t begin to remember what happened on January 30th, 2013. Obviously it was something big. God was doing big things in my heart that prepared me for this day.

But I know that every moment that has shattered me has allowed me to walk with dignity and might to this, what has been my destiny since the creation of the world.

Not only will I walk with dignity and might, I will walk in His love, in His plan…and in His liberty.

2 Corinthians 3:17, “Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

~Bailey

*I do remember I was doing Beth Moore’s study on Esther. This quote is from that study. It is excellent! I highly recommend anything by her.

Not Knowing

The night before taking the SAT for the first time, a friend and I were talking about growing up. "It's just so crazy," she said, "That all of our lives people are telling us what to do and how to do it. And then all of the sudden when we hit our junior or senior year in high school, they start asking us what we're doing with our lives. They ask us and they expect us to know what to do and how to do it on our own when all of our lives they've been telling us what to do. Like, seriously, what changes?"

It's that question that everyone who is a junior or senior in high school hates the most, "Where are you going to college? What do you want to do? Have you decided on a college yet?"

No. No. No. 

Because going to college is a big step. 

Because this career and degree I pick are a big deal. 

Because picking a college is going to play a huge factor in my life over the next four years. 

And I feel like we need time. 

That maybe having more time would help.

But over the past couple of weeks, I've seen that what we need isn't time to make decisions. Because in a way, time blurs things. After visiting several colleges, I thought I had my mind made up. I thought, "This is where I want to go and this is what I want to do."

Then people said, "But what about this school? And what about this profession?"

And my entire being screams, "I DON'T KNOW."

I was texting a friend the other day about all of this...about how I'm so tired of my answer being, "I don't know."

Just typing these words brings back the emotions- the emotions of confusion and frustration. 

Right now my answer is still, "I don't know." 

But right now in this moment, I'm okay with that. 

At camp this past summer, I was talking with my youth pastor. We were having one of those conversations that I will never forget. One of those conversations where things are real and honest and he figures how to get me to open up like no one else but my very closest friends can. 

He said something like this, "All of your senior year people are going to act like they know what they want to do and where they want to go. But in reality...they're going to be just as confused and overwhelmed as you are."

While it helps to know this, I'm not just okay with all of these unknowns because other people are going through it, too.

I'm okay with it because it's not in my hands. 

I'm not in control. 

As I type those words I can breathe deeply. I am not in control. 

I don't know what's best for myself. There's only One person who always knows what's best for me. 

He's the One who crafted the stars and called them each by name. He's the One who created every animal and knew just what they would look like before ever speaking them into existence. He's the One who spoke and it was good. He's the One who crafted the mountains and the volcanos and knew just how the Grand Canyon would dip and curve, each groove marked by his breath. 

He's also the One who breathed life into my very soul! His breath is inside of me! I wasn't just good...no, I was very good. We were the peak of His creation, the thing He was most pleased with. 

This God who crafted the mountains and stars that reach thousands of miles higher than we could ever imagine is the God who knows my every day, my every move, my every breath. 

My days are so small. My life is so short. Yet He cares. 

He cares because He made me, He breathed into my lungs the breath of life. 

He loves me. 

Tears brim in my eyes at that thought. 

He is big enough to shape every star...and He loves me. Little, tiny me...

Scripture says He is jealous for me...for all of us.

He is jealous of the things that take our attention away from Him. Because He knows that when we are in Him, we are the best we could ever be. 

I find my purpose in Him. I find my joy in Him. I find everything I need to exist in my God who knows all of the stars by name. 

So I'm okay not knowing exactly what's going to come next. 

Because He knows. 

And if He is able to sustain this entire world...He is more than able to know what's going to happen in my life. 

So yes, college is coming. And yes, that's a big deal. 

But tonight I choose to rest in the knowledge that He knows what tomorrow will hold. He knows what next August will bring. He knows the relationships I will make and the stories I will write and the lives I will impact. 

He knows each and every step. 

He's writing my story. 

And that is worth living for. 

~Bailey

P.S. If we're mentioning stories...I guess I should tell you that book #3 is in the making. Surprise!