Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Memorizing Moments.

"Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up,
I could still be little.
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple...

Oh darlin' don't you ever grow up."

{Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift}

I took the SAT Saturday. College is a normal conversation. Senior year is quickly approaching.

So many decisions. So many important conversations.

And there is nothing in me that wants to grow up.

I want to stay 16. I want to keep babysitting and spending my nights editing and writing...and reading. I want to spend my Fridays going to the movies with my friends, laughing so hard that we cry. Because right now life is pretty awesome. It's relaxed and it's beautiful.

But time won't stand still.

Each day the sun rises and sets. With each new rising of the sun, I get another day older...another day closer to growing up.

It makes me really sad, actually. I love this season. I love where the Lord has me and what He has me doing.

Again...there's nothing I can do. I can't slow down time, can't make the days go any slower.

All I can do is live and make the most of every single moment, every single opportunity the Lord gives me.

Last night I sat reading out in our great room (we call it that because it's a really great room) and in the rest of the house I could hear my dad singing to the music he had playing..."Home" by Phillip Phillips. Sonia and J-man were laughing, my mom was making dinner. William sat across the room from me, reading a book on his Kindle.

I closed my eyes and memorized the moment. I memorized the way things sounded. The way things felt..and I smiled.

About a week ago we FaceTimed with my {adopted} big sister and her two girls. They live in California, her husband is stationed at the Navy base there. We hadn't talked in forever and it was SO good to catch up a bit and see those two sweet girls. We laughed over past memories and hoped to see each other soon.

After hanging up, I closed my eyes and memorized that moment. Harper is just 17 months old, little McKinley was born in April. Soon enough they'll be in school...going to college and I'll feel super old.

Friday night, several friends and I went to see The Amazing Spider-man 2(which, if you're wondering was AMAZING!). Courtney, Caroline, Emily Grace, Jenna and I all sat in a row in the theater waiting for the movie to start. Courtney-loudly-burst out into the Spider-man theme song and we all DIED laughing. In the end, the entire theater gave her a round of applause. After the movie ended, we stood in the parking lot discussing a major plot twist, laughing and being girls.

On the way home, I sat in the back seat and closed my eyes memorizing that entire night, memorizing that sweet night with my dearest friends.

Sunday night we had the children's choir production at church. I volunteer with the children's choir every Sunday night- I love those kids. Anyway, we stood around after the program and laughed and talked and we may have even played some tag around the sanctuary! But they asked to take pictures and came for hugs...

And yes, I closed my eyes and remembered how little they all were. I made my self memorize the moments when they were on stage singing and I smiled at their faces as they sang with all they had to praise the Lord.

During the program, I looked at the converse on my feet...the toes which read, "I love Paige Elizabeth." The ones I had gotten to match hers which read "I love Bailey Elizabeth." I thought of how many of these kids she had invested in...and how I was now getting the chance to pour into their lives. And I memorized the thankfulness in my heart for the job she left me with- to love these kids.

In a couple years, I'll most likely be away at college. I'll be sitting in my dorm room, studying for final exams and I'll close my eyes and remember the way things felt when I was just 16.

So I'm going to try to do that more. Try and close my eyes every so often and memorize the moment I'm in- no matter how crazy it is. Because in all reality, I'm going to miss them.

And memories of moments like the ones last night- the ordinary nights at home- are going to bring familiarity to the newness of college life. They are going to bring comfort and laughter and joy.

I can't slow down time...but I can hold onto the days and memories even today.

Here's to living abundantly in Christ and memorizing moments!


John 10:10, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

1 comment:

  1. What a gift you have already given yourself. I did not learn how to memorize those moments until you were born. How funny, it was you that gave me the gift of being able to memorize moments and freeze time in my heart of hearts.