Reflections

When I wrote this post about the lasts that this semester would hold, I didn’t realize how beautiful many of them would be.

Here I am and most of them have already taken place.

My last Sunday as a student in our youth ministry when I walked on stage and was announced a graduate of Rich Fork Student Ministry’s class of 2015.  It was that Sunday I stood and sang, “It is well with my soul.”  And in that moment, everything really was well with my soul.

This leads me to talk about the most recent occurrence: camp.  You see, I am sitting here with tired eyes and a soul satisfied in Jesus as we have just gotten back from a week long camp.  Let me tell you, this was by far the most powerful week we have ever spent together as a youth group.  Yes, we laughed until we cried and we sang until our voices are nearly gone.  But the Lord also truly changed lives and worked among us in ways that we would have never imagined.

I don’t have time to share every story and memory that this past week held, because, trust me, it was full of so many.  But I want to share this with you.

As I stood in worship last night, we sang a song that repeated this phrase:

And the grace of Jesus is always wider, it’s growing on and on and always higher. 
And the grace of Jesus lights a fire, light a fire deep down in my soul.

Grace, grace, God’s grace: grace that can pardon and cleanse within.  Grace, grace, God’s grace: grace that is greater than all my sin.

Standing there worshipping I was overcome with so many emotions. Overcome with thankfulness for His grace in my life.  Overcome with the awareness of where I was and all He was doing.

But as I took a quick look around at each of the students around me, I saw these middle school and high school students worshipping Jesus Christ with everything they had.  Whether they had their eyes closed, their hands raised, or both- I knew that it was coming from their heart.

And I also realized why Paige loved so many so well while she was here- it’s not only because it’s what Christ calls us to do, it’s because when you love well and pour into lives until you have nothing left to give…you get to stand and worship and watch lives be changed by the power of the Holy Spirit.

That’s what I got to experience last night in worship.  I got to watch these students’ lives be changed, miracles be worked in their lives…and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Last night as a youth group, for the first time, we talked about Paige. It’s been nearly three years and last night we cried together and prayed for each other and held each other in our grief.

But more than any of these things we rejoiced in the freedom we have in Christ.  Freedom from the weight of sin and grief and death.  As we learned this week, we are alive and free in Christ.  He is greater than any trial we could ever face.  We surrender to Him not because we know it will be easy, but because we know the God we are serving.

I poured my heart out to these girls last night, thanking them for letting me invest in their lives, spend time with them, get to know them, and watch them worship.  I couldn’t be more proud of them and all they have allowed Christ to do in their lives this week.  I also couldn’t be more thankful for all He did in me, in the ways He revived me and restored my spirit, preparing me for so much coming up in the next weeks.

My heart is full and my soul sings, thank you, Lord, for all that You are to all of us…for all that you have done and will continue to do through this past week…for making us alive and free.  Your daughter, Bailey Elizabeth

*No.  This title is not like Reflections as in the song from Mulan.  Just thought I'd clarify- haha!

Holding All Things

Graduating high school brings in a slew of emotions. Ask my friends, I'm not an emotional person but ever since the beginning of this semester I've been emotional on a whole new level.

Last Sunday I sat in Sunday School in the youth area for the last time. My youth pastor was praying afterwards and his first words were this, "Lord, thank You for these six years we've had together."

And I just about lost it.

Wednesday night I realized I only had two Wednesday nights left as a student in the youth ministry. But while Matt was preaching a verse that I had read a million times popped out at me...it was this:

Colossians 1:17, "And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."

When I'm emotional because my whole life is changing...that verse went straight to the deepest parts of my heart.

This was my train of thought driving home from church:

At the beginning of the year when my financial information wasn't coming through at Liberty and I felt as if maybe college just wasn't going to happen, maybe God had a different plan...

He was holding all things together.

When I was applying for scholarships and crying over essay topics I just didn't understand...

He was holding all things together.

In February when I went to visit Liberty and nothing was set in stone but I knew this was the place I wanted to spend the next four years of my life...

He was holding all things together.

Just weeks ago I spoke at a church about writing my book and my trip to Uganda. But my nerves were eating me alive and I was terrified...

He was holding all things together.

When life is overwhelming and frustrating...when I wanted someone to really talk to, someone who would listen and have the wisdom I needed, but my adopted big brother was in Brazil, my adopted big sister was in California...and the other sister passed away almost three years ago and I missed them so much that it hurt...

He was holding all things together even when it didn't seem like it.

How do I know? How can I be so sure?

Because when I needed that person to talk to, I got a text from Trent (that big brother in Brazil). I got the kind of text that really just said, "Hey, how's your life?" And I knew he wouldn't care if I poured my guts out. We texted back and forth and the tears rose over and over again.

When I went to speak at that church, the Lord gave me such peace and spoke through me as only He could.

Because when my financial information came through it was better than we could have ever imagined. The Lord provided and did it in His time...not mine. All of this is a whole post in itself.

In all of these things He proved to me exactly what that verse says, "in Him all things hold together."

Without Him, I would literally fall apart! My life would crash and burn...but no, in His great love, grace, and mercy, He chooses to hold my life together day in and day out, making sure everything happens exactly when it needs to.

I know, you probably hear that all the time and it probably sounds cliche. Because less than two months ago it sounded cliche to me, too.

But today I can assure you that my God is the One who is making sure the sun will set tonight, the stars (that He knows by name) will be in the right spots, the earth keeps spinning...is also the God who is executing every detail of your life, and mine, too.

So whatever you're waiting for, whatever you think just isn't going to happen, whatever you've lost hope for and are even doubting God about...know He's holding it all together.

Know He's got you and me and all of us in His hands and is very literally holding all things together.

I know at least for me, that is the greatest hope.

~Bailey

The Next Chapter

I wrote this post late last night...reflections on, well, I guess all of my life thus far.

- - - - -

Right now it is 11:35 and I should have been asleep an hour ago.

But just hours ago I got home from having my senior pictures taken. While I’ve already washed my face, my hair is still curled.  For a girl with stick straight hair, curls are too much fun.

My mind is spinning and I’m thinking a thousand things.


A glimpse into my thoughts?

Tonight I wore a dress that I felt beautiful in.  It’s one of the ones you can spin around in and feel five years old again.

As the photographer took my pictures tonight we were in the middle of the woods, bright green spring time colors all around us.  And it looked like a fairy tale…something straight out of a picture book I would have read as a little girl.

When I put on my second change of clothes, I had mom tie a bracelet on to my wrist and I forced my eyes to stay dry. It’s colors are faded and the ends are frayed from months of wear and tear. But Paige made it for me. And while I haven’t worn it in a while…tonight I needed to wear it. For her. And, well, for me, too. Because all of me wanted her to be a part of this: my senior year.

I posed for a picture with my most favorite journal in hand and my hot pink fountain pen: a gift from Trent and Sydney when I published my book. I can remember Sydney handing it to me the first time…signing book after book with it at my party. They’re in Brazil, but again…they should be a part, too.

And Amanda and Nick. Dad just finished visiting with them and so we send pictures to them all, wishing that California wasn’t so far away.


I can’t help but remember this last decade of schooling…the journey has been a story in itself.

It seems impossible that it was nearly 13 years since I was walking into my Kindergarten classroom for the first time, meeting Mrs. Riddle and still getting help to tie my shoes.

And somehow since then I went to camp for the first time. I got glasses. I helped with Summer with the Arts for the first time. I drove a car for the first time. I really wrote for the first time. I went to the movies- just me and the girls- for the first time.

There are sweet memories like my first day at Classical meeting Anna Gray and Brianna…competing in Bible Drill at church…countless summer days at the pool…reading Little Women for the first time and really falling in love with reading.

Then there are the not so great memories, too, like that haircut I got in sixth grade…getting over three dozen stitches (no more flash light tag for this girl!)…the very first disagreements with friends.

But as I look back at all of those firsts, I realize that many of the memories I’m making now are quite often…lasts.

This Sunday I’ll close out my last semester being a weekly teacher in children’s choir.

In a few short weeks I’ll have my last day of high school.

In August, I’ll have my last day of babysitting for my favorite families before heading off to school.


I’ve come to realize so very quickly that these are the last weeks of high school…these are my last weeks of youth ministry and all that comes with it…these are the last days before college.

While it seems bittersweet to look back on the lasts, I can only see it as the closing of one chapter…and the opening of a new one.

The day I walk on Liberty’s campus I will not only hold with me these memories and bring along the characters in my story, but I will turn the page a begin a new adventure: one that will be packed full of firsts, packed with sweet and not so sweet memories…and, one day, lasts as well.


So now it’s 11:55 and I’m totally going to get busted for staying up so late.

But, hey, these are my last weeks of high school, right? Might as well live them well and full.


Here’s to the best last 13 years a girl could ask for: to the best teachers, friends, parents…and everyone else…thanks for giving me a wonderful, magical, incredible 13 years.

And, most importantly, to my Jesus: the author of every first, every memory…and yes, every last in all of my 17 years. Thankfully He’s the author of this next chapter, too.

So it’s with a deep breath and a whole lot of His grace that I’m preparing to turn the page. Here’s to the next chapter.

~Bailey

*Photo credit to Rodney Slate//Autumn Song Photography*

I sat at my desk this morning, reading the account of the crucifixion in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. In that moment I let myself breathe in deep, letting my heart become heavy with the realization that my Savior carried all of my sin to the cross.

It's a good Friday.

This afternoon I wrapped up yet another English assignment and I felt victorious. Only one more left this semester. 

It's a good Friday. 

Just two hours ago Sonia and I sat outside drawing princesses and carriages and ballerinas while listening to Disney music. The wind blew and the sky was blue like cotton candy. 

It's a good Friday.

But I sit here tonight and I write a short post. 

It was dark. Jesus is THE light...yet it was dark for hours on end. 

Because many years ago my Jesus had nails in His hands, in His feet...they pierced His side. They placed a crown of thorns upon His brow.

The veil was torn- split in two. 

Tetelestai- It is finished. 

He was dead. They put His body in a tomb. 

His Father looked away because our sins- all of my sins- were piled upon Him. 

Scripture tells us clearly that He was mocked, He was betrayed...He did no wrong. He was perfect.

Yet they crucified Him...because He loved us. Because He wanted us to be free from the chains of sin and shame. 

May we celebrate that in three days...death He defeated. The grave held no power. And our Jesus, He is forever victorious in all of our lives. 

"For God so loved the world..."

Today it is Friday. 

Today it is a good Friday...

Because Sunday is coming.

Praise the Lord!

~Bailey